Remember last week’s training update? Where I had two runs that I returned home CRYING. A run where I literally uttered the words “I’m so done with this crap” & an overall defeating attitude? Yeah… That one……..
My own mind has been my worst enemy my entire life. As a competitive gymnast — I psyched myself out all the time. My strongest event was the Vault. (Power Legs. Always’ve had them. There’s no slimming down for these blocks!) But as competition day came, I would go through the motions of every event, then vault would come. I would zero in on that runway. “How long is that run-way? Is the spring board measured properly away from the vault? Is my footing going to be off because of the difference in length?” Etc. Etc. I would over think the whole thing & on more than one occasion, I missed the vault. I either — slammed into it because I mentally blocked myself from going up & over it, or I would just at the last second veer off to the side of the runway & not even attempt it.. My inner voice would win no matter how much my consciousness refused to let it. THIS my friends, is even more defeating, embarrassing, & irritating than doing & failing. To let your mind give out like that — it’s awful.
(& as you can see from yesterday’s post — I do this in all aspects of my life…)
I’m done doing that with running.
This was barely even a decision! I just stopped doubting myself in the last week…I was on a 4 mile run. There is a 1 mile loop I do for days I’m not feeling the rolling hills. So, my intention was to complete 4 laps.. On the last lap I heard the voice start to creep into my mind. “My legs are tired. It’s okay to just walk the rest of the way back.. I mean, miles are miles no matter the speed, right…” Then out of absolutely no where I heard a defending argument. (yes I realize I am at this point hovering on the line of insanity. But, it’s all in the name of running! ) “Shut up, Charlotte. You’ve run double this before. You’re GOING to run 6 times this, hopefully within the next 12 months. Why am I even letting the idea of giving up cross my mind?” My mind has been peaceful since.
I have actually been waking up from dreams where I’M CROSSING THE FINISH LINE!! I SEE my bling from both the Cherry Blossom 10 miler & The IronGirl Half Marathon! I SEE it on me. On the rest of my runs this week, when it came to a part that was difficult, I just saw that bling bling & the huge grin that is sure to be on my face, & it all seemed so much easier, so much more doable.
I think, therefor I am.
It’s insane how powerful this statement is. The human mind is so soooooooooo incredibly powerful. If you think you can not accomplish something, you won’t. If you think you can, YOU ABSOLUTELY CAN!
I am going to run 10 miles April 1.
I am going to run 13.1 miles April 29
I am going to run 26.2 miles by April 2013!
I am. I will. I will destroy!
So much is mind over matter. I have the ability to run. I have the ability to run further than I already have. I just have to see it, think it, DO IT!
If you hear a voice within you say “you cannot paint,” then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced. ~Vincent Van Gogh
& on a more fun note… I TOTALLY NEED THESE! Please tell me where I can locate them and/or send them to me as a belated Christmas Gift. Either option works fine with me