I was lucky. There hasn’t been a point in time during my life when I truly had to struggle with my weight. I struggled with always wanting to be smaller, when I was a gymnast/dancer – but I was active all my life until I graduated high school…. It was just a complex. I was always fit. I was never strong. I was thin, and fit.
Then I stopped completely. My knee blew out and I stopped gymnastics & dance at a sudden hult. It was several years before I went back to the world of an active lifestyle. I still didn’t ever get big, I just became weak, Jiggly, pasty….
It was a little under a year & a half ago that I picked up running. I did it as as a test to my body. Like “You just put me through crap, yea no! I run this program, let me show you” A test. I never intended on falling in love with the sport.
I felt better about myself. It led me to quit smoking cigarettes, watch what I was putting into my body more (food, nutrients, vitamins, etc) I lost some of that jiggle that slowly appeared after high school. But I never felt strong at any time. Not physically. Not when you looked at me. I had strong legs, and maybe strong will power, but I was not a strong women to the naked eye.
I never said anything, but a few months ago I started becoming really uncomfortable in my own skin. I didn’t like the way I looked from the waste up. I have always had strong legs.. I was a fierce tumbler when I was a competitive gymnast. But the rest of me… I was a “thin” and “fit” adult woman.. but I wasn’t pleased with what I saw in the mirror. I had a desire to be strong.
Strong women will rule this world some day.
I got to work. Diligently. I bought dumbbells, resistance bands. Started doing push ups and crunches EVERY night. Added strength training into my training schedule. (In the process fell in love with the row machine!) I had a will, and I was going to make it happen.
Yesterday, I decided to do some speed work. It was on the agenda all day. Originally scheduled before work, by the time I was finally able to around 6 in the evening after work I was DYING to get it done with and take a nap. Somehow, after my easy warm up I had a TON of motivation. I was going to rock this speed workout. I wanted to run a mile as fast as I could. I was going to do a Crossfit workout after, so I just wanted 1 mile. Super fast. Even if that meant having to lay down on the ground to catch my breath before moving on to the next aspect of my workout.
I looked my iSmoothRun app after it alarmed me of the first mile. 8:10 pace. WHAT?! Somehow I wasn’t completely dead. I was just going to keep going until my lungs said NOPE, game over…. To my shock, that didn’t happen until 1.7 miles.
After catching my breath and chugging some water. I went inside the fitness center to finish my workout. After finishing my second ever CrossFit WOD, I walked away with a smile, riding the high of my workout.
I. AM. STRONG.
They always say that it takes about 4 weeks for you to see changes in your body. I absolutely can attest to that. I didn’t start diligently working on my strength and body fat percent losses until the last week in May. I am just starting to see noticeable changes NOW.
That photo was taken at my 10 mile race in April. Just since then you can see a huge difference in the size and shape of my arms (and core!)
For the first time in my entire life, I am truly proud of my body. I was proud of myself after my 10 mile race, after my half marathon. But, I was more proud of my mental strength. That is what carried me through those races. I relied on that mental strength way more than I should have needed to. I should have had the strength to back it up. While I certainly put in the training, I wasn’t very strong.
I feel like, after 2 years since my ovarian issues and surgery that started the spiral of questioning my body, I can finally say that I have proven I’M in control. And that I can accomplish anything I put my mind to.
The sky is the limit.