I have always, always been a firm believer in keeping it real on the blog. It seems silly to me, to have this place that I pour my heart out to, only to sugar coat things when life gets rough. Who wants to read a blog about how perfect someone’s life is? Nobody. That just brings us all down. We like to be able to relate to the writer, like to know that there are others out there who are experiencing the same things we are.
Then something truly embarrassing happened, and I hid. I wasn’t sure how to write when I wasn’t able to be 100% honest. I didn’t know how to allow myself to talk about it all, either. So I rounded up some of my favorite Blends (blog friends) and compiled guest posts while my entire life changed before my eyes.
It is a commonly held belief that moving home comes second only to Divorce in terms of the stress it causes to the individuals concerned. Fortunately I am not getting divorced; I did however move home, and am separated from my now ex-fiance. It has been incredibly stressful, but I honestly can say I have learned some incredible life lessons.
- Move slowly and stand your ground! Don’t date someone who doesn’t respect your values and convictions, and/or who doesn’t respect you as a person.
- Don’t date someone whose actions don’t back up their words.
- Don’t change your plans for someone unless they’ve proven their commitment by doing the same for you.
Life truly is what happens while you’re busy making plans. Cancel your plans. Yeah, I get it: I should be saving for retirement; I should be eating 8 to 10 servings of vegetables a day; Alcohol is bad; I should be looking toward marriage, kids, a home or I’ll never achieve it. But you know what? Nine times out of 10, life never works out as one thinks it will.
You can’t control what’s going to happen to you. I’m not religious, so I don’t believe there’s a god-driven plan to life, but I do believe wherever we are at the present moment is where we’re supposed to be. (Yes, my problems are champagne when compared to others, but there’s still something I should be learning from them.)
If you self-destruct, you have to pick yourself back up. I learned this earlier this year. I began to self-destruct when my brother passed away. I can honestly pin point the beginning of the end of the life I knew so well, to that. Nobody can help you up from the bottom except for yourself. Sure, there are sometimes people in our lives that help us see the light of day again, but without the inner strength, there is no moving forward. I am not going to self-destruct. I’m not going to throw a pity-party for myself. I am better than that.
I could sit here and pull my hair out over the amount of love, time, and money I put into our engagement. I truly thought we would spend the rest of our lives together, hand in hand. The multiple-years I let myself put my plans on hold so that he could accomplish his dreams. The gorgeous wedding dress that I already paid x amount of dollars on and is now collecting dust in a closet. But, in the end it is not and will never be worth it.
I refuse to mourn the life I had, and instead I am diving forward into a new chapter of my life. Of course, new chapter means new look….
I cut off 7 inches of hair that I was growing out for the wedding. As soon as I flipped my head back and forth after the cut, I felt free. I was free of the choke hold that he had on my heart and was ready to move forward….
What lies ahead? Well, stay tuned… It’s going to be all about adventure, running, health and happiness over here!