I have always, always been a firm believer in keeping it real on the blog. It seems silly to me, to have this place that I pour my heart out to, only to sugar coat things when life gets rough. Who wants to read a blog about how perfect someone’s life is? Nobody. That just brings us all down. We like to be able to relate to the writer, like to know that there are others out there who are experiencing the same things we are.
Then something truly embarrassing happened, and I hid. I wasn’t sure how to write when I wasn’t able to be 100% honest. I didn’t know how to allow myself to talk about it all, either. So I rounded up some of my favorite Blends (blog friends) and compiled guest posts while my entire life changed before my eyes.
It is a commonly held belief that moving home comes second only to Divorce in terms of the stress it causes to the individuals concerned. Fortunately I am not getting divorced; I did however move home, and am separated from my now ex-fiance. It has been incredibly stressful, but I honestly can say I have learned some incredible life lessons.
- Move slowly and stand your ground! Don’t date someone who doesn’t respect your values and convictions, and/or who doesn’t respect you as a person.
- Don’t date someone whose actions don’t back up their words.
- Don’t change your plans for someone unless they’ve proven their commitment by doing the same for you.
Life truly is what happens while you’re busy making plans. Cancel your plans. Yeah, I get it: I should be saving for retirement; I should be eating 8 to 10 servings of vegetables a day; Alcohol is bad; I should be looking toward marriage, kids, a home or I’ll never achieve it. But you know what? Nine times out of 10, life never works out as one thinks it will.
So, I’m going the way of Buddha and learning to enjoy the moment.
You can’t control what’s going to happen to you. I’m not religious, so I don’t believe there’s a god-driven plan to life, but I do believe wherever we are at the present moment is where we’re supposed to be. (Yes, my problems are champagne when compared to others, but there’s still something I should be learning from them.)
If you self-destruct, you have to pick yourself back up. I learned this earlier this year. I began to self-destruct when my brother passed away. I can honestly pin point the beginning of the end of the life I knew so well, to that. Nobody can help you up from the bottom except for yourself. Sure, there are sometimes people in our lives that help us see the light of day again, but without the inner strength, there is no moving forward. I am not going to self-destruct. I’m not going to throw a pity-party for myself. I am better than that.
I could sit here and pull my hair out over the amount of love, time, and money I put into our engagement. I truly thought we would spend the rest of our lives together, hand in hand. The multiple-years I let myself put my plans on hold so that he could accomplish his dreams. The gorgeous wedding dress that I already paid x amount of dollars on and is now collecting dust in a closet. But, in the end it is not and will never be worth it.
I refuse to mourn the life I had, and instead I am diving forward into a new chapter of my life. Of course, new chapter means new look….
I cut off 7 inches of hair that I was growing out for the wedding. As soon as I flipped my head back and forth after the cut, I felt free. I was free of the choke hold that he had on my heart and was ready to move forward….
What lies ahead? Well, stay tuned… It’s going to be all about adventure, running, health and happiness over here!
What a great attitude about moving forward. You are so right–staying in a situation that is anything less than what you deserve is not good for you in the long term.You can do this!!
Living in the moment can lead to a great future! You sound like you are ready to “run free!”
Ive been thinking about you, too.
xoxo
dang girl, talk about major life changes! so proud of you for standing up for YOU! stay strong. xox
i cant tell you how inspirational this was to me! i am seriously so proud of you and wish i could give you a big hug!!! everything definitely happens for a reason, and im so glad that you are moving on from the things that were holding you down and keeing you from being your BEST self ever! im so excited to see where life takes you now, because youve got a whole fresh new chapter to write!!!
) SPA love and have a VERY happy monday!!!!
This is beautifully written, and it is so incredible that you were able to write it with such positivity, while putting your heart out there for everyone to see. Change hurts, and it sucks, and it’s confusing, but you are doing what is best for you- that is what matters. Stay true to yourself lady, always- that is what matters in life.
I know it’s hard, but it’s so much better to figure it out before marriage and kids happen. Good luck with all the changes that are coming up. I know you’ll fly!
Cute haircut too!
Your attitude during what I’m sure is more difficult than I can imagine is inspiring. Looking forward to hearing more about your chchchanges!
[Fitness, Health and Happiness]
LOVE THIS, girl. You are so unbelievably strong. And your new haircut is awesome!! I would say rock it, but it looks like you’re way ahead of me.
Been thinking about you lots lately. So glad you are rising above it. Keep going!
I would never call what you did as “hiding.” As bloggers we sometimes need to step back and process what is happening to us before we allow the world to see it. Look how long it took me to blog about my divorce. On another note, I am very proud of you. You learned something that many people never learn or don’t learn till much later in life. Don’t settle, Charlotte, life is just too damn short to allow yourself to do that.
You did the best thing you could have done for yourself, girl. Never settle for less than what’s good for you. <3
Follow your heart and your dreams and do what is right for YOU!
Sounds like a lot is going on over in your ‘hood! So glad you did what is best for you– here’s to a brighter future moving forward!
Sounds like you are doing just fine! Good for you! Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and live your life like there’s no tomorrow! SPA Love!
You did what was best for you which is the most important thing. It’s so easy to put others in front of ourselves and I’m glad that you were able to do that before things got more complicated. It’s not worth it to settle. Definitely good things ahead for you and can’t wait to hear about your new adventures. PS your new ‘do looks awesome.
Love the hair cut! And so true that life doesn’t turn out as planned and we each have different paths. I think it’s so great that you’re standing firm in going the direction that works best for YOU. Following your gut is the best thing to do.
I’m loving the new look! A new flare about yourself is a great way to embrace a new chapter! I like the word chapter instead of change because it’s more uplifting =) I remember my mother got a tattoo when she and her fiance broke off their engagement and she moved to the city. Always stand up for what you want as you’ve done here and you’ll have no reason for regrets
I’m happy for you.
I mean – NOT happy about the breakup, and the stress, and all of that.
But happy that you have a whole, big, long, happy life ahead of you. Happy that you got out of a not-right relationship before any legal complications that marriage and (possible) divorce would have entailed. Happy that you are free to try whatever you want to do next.
Change is always stressful and awful and disorienting, but you’ll bounce back and be stronger for it. (I speak from experience.)
Good luck with the new start. Sometimes that is what it takes to kick start the greatness that is to come!
Hmmm. I left another comment, so I thought, but I am not seeing it…oh well, the gist of it was Good Luck! New start, fresh outlook, you got this bull by the horns…
As always, thank you for your honesty and openness. So sorry to hear about the separation, but glad for you that it happened now rather than later and that you seem to have a positive outlook on the situtation. I love your haircut and completely understand how freeing that can feel. All the best wishes for your fresh new future!
I love the attitude. I find that if life throws a curve ball, I throw one right back — change my routine, buy something crazy, or just walk to work different.
I never made it to the point of being engaged, but I also separated from the person I thought I would spend the rest of my life with earlier this spring. It’s been a weird and confusing and exciting time. Let yourself experience every emotion, even the bad ones. Don’t let anyone discredit your feelings (just because it doesn’t SEEM like you have it as bad as others, doesn’t mean your feelings aren’t real). And, plan a trip if you can. Getting out of dodge does wonders.
I’ll be cheering you on, sweets!
Sorry to hear about the stress you’ve been going through. Sometimes life just throws those curve balls, but you seem to have your head in the right place about the whole thing! It’s always good to learn from your mistakes…hope things are looking up for you now.
Beautiful blog. LIfe is about living in the moment. We are always exactly where we are meant to be. The only thing for certain in life is that nothing is certain. And really, that is the beauty of it. I was once told by an ex that he “hoped I could find some happiness.” (We won’t mention how self absorbed he was.) Little did he know, I already had – it was within all along. We have running, we have yoga, we have peace within. Sometimes we just have to be quiet and still enough to feel it
Love your blog, girl! You inspire me!